For shits and giggles

This is why I love...

Chatroulette

Ben Folds playing live shows on chatroulette. Join the craziness.

Dear person who has my iPhone,

For Fred:

Dissing lookbook.nu

"How To Take Your Own Lookbook.nu Shots"

As much as I love roaming around the looks of some very good-looking individuals, I must admit it's kind of hard standing out in the hipster ocean that is lookbook.nu. In a sense, I feel this diss would be more appropriately aimed towards them myspace users, but have a look for yourselves by clicking the link above.

Anyway, I'm not hating on the site since I do have a lookbook myself, but haven't gotten around to really post anything yet. You can always check out Alex's profile, cause he's getting lotsa sweetbean hits (here here here).

Bored? Nothing on Facebook or MSN?

Weird, disturbing, but yeah, it's quite entertaining.
Especially the Jerry Springer video.

Kat the Midget Stripper Entertainer's Myspace

FLML

In contrast to all the FMLs out there, here's a nice change just in time for summer.

Fucking Love My Life.org

"I didn’t get raped on the way home tonight! FLML"

"I wished for pudding at 11:11, and when i opened the fridge, there was pudding. FLML"

Written under a slide in a kids park...

"Sex, drugs, rock and roll,
speed, weed, birth control.
Life's a bitch,
In the end, you die.
So fuck the world,
let's get high."

and

"Jack and Jill,
went up the hill,
and smoked marijuana.
Jack got high,
Pulled down his fly,
Asked Jill "You wanna?"
Jill said "Yes",
dropped her dress,
and they had fun.
But, silly Jill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son."

OWNED. lol.

Oh, silly kids these days.

fmylife

"Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML"

"Today, I was going to have sex with my hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "pollo frito". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML"

"Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML"

"Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML"

"Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML"

Bored? Nothing on Facebook or MSN?

This is why you're fat.

Food Porn.
Or rather, Food's version of 2 girls 1 cup.
How do people come up with these recipes? AGA:KLF:JAGHAGHBARFF.

bash.org

Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
TheXPhial> vaccuums
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
TheXPhial> black holes
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
TheXPhial> lava?

Motivate Me.

Rock > Paper

I didn't write this, but it's still fucking hilarious:

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock.

Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock, leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why... it's because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds.

When I play rock/paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry I thought paper would protect you, asshole."

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

bash.org

Bored? Nothing on Facebook or MSN?

fmylife.com

funny annecdotes about people.

"Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML"

"Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML"

"Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML"

"Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"

Bored? Nothing on Facebook or MSN?

isketch
Like an online pictionnary game, UK and US rooms.
My username is iHumpNoobs, so just find me by using /f username
Trying to guess the word being drawn is always a time killer of at least 1-2 hours.

yeyyys.

you're fired.